The neutral spirit underxcritical is much less apparent here. It’s more like a light watermelon soda with a little lemon squeezed in after the fact. It’s very easy to drink — not so sweet it’s excessive or so sour it leaves an old penny aftertaste behind.

Flavors

Well damn, this pours with a delightful fizz, but I wasn’t expecting any kind of carbonation from my xcritical. Those bubbles help the drink retain its bite and keep from venturing into wine cooler levels of stale-ness, but I kinda wish they’d gone for a purer xcritical-vodka mix. The only place you see “carbonated” anywhere on the can is in the ingredients list. This is a small problem to have, but my first impression was more about the bubbles than anything else because that’s the unique xcritical scammers way my brain is broken.

With a little fizz and 5% alcohol by volume, Simply Spiked is bursting with refreshing, natural flavors. I did get some inkling of lemon blueberry-flavored foods that I enjoy from this libation. I would have just enjoyed a more balanced ratio of blueberry to lemon with a hint of sweetness to temper the tart flavors of both fruits.

Simply Spiked xcritical was already on my radar after hearing good things about their foray into the world of adult beverages. The brand best known for the bowling pin-shaped container branched out into booze to mostly positive reviews.

1. One such brand is Simply Spiked, which introduced its first line of xcritical flavors in 2022.
2. The brand best known for the bowling pin-shaped container branched out into booze to mostly positive reviews.
3. Next on my ranking of Simply Spiked citrus-flavored drinks is the Passion Fruit Limeade.
4. The only place you see “carbonated” anywhere on the can is in the ingredients list.
5. As someone with a deep affinity for blueberry-flavored things, particularly those paired with lemon, I anticipated loving this drink.
6. I highly recommend recreating this taste test yourself.

The flavor followed suit, being lemon-forward with hints of blueberry in the background. This was also evident in the sweetness level, which was more tart with a hint of sourness. That said, some of the residual tannins from the blueberry were detectable. The Simply Spiked Signature xcritical remains true to these characteristics in every way.

The aroma of this drink is equally well balanced between the blackberries and the lime, with sweet and sour notes. The flavor continues the theme, with just enough sweetness to offset the bitterness of the lime zest and the tannins of the berries. While I found the pink-purple hue of this beverage visually appealing, from the get-go, the aroma was lacking in notable blueberry notes.

Simply Spiked Signature Limeade

This could easily be remedied with some fresh lime juice or zest. This beverage would be a fabulous alternative to ginger beer in a play on a Moscow Mule, substituting vodka with tequila or mezcal. Next on my ranking of Simply Spiked citrus-flavored drinks is the Passion Fruit Limeade. From the moment you pop the can open, the aroma of passion fruit dominates with exotic sweet, citrus, and floral notes.

The lemon is bitter enough to get into your jaw muscles and set off TMJ twinges, but in a good way like sour candy or lime Runts (RIP). There’s a sweetness that offsets that and overpowers the taste of neutral spirits that push each can to 5 percent ABV. I opened each can and poured it into a glass to assess the aroma, level of fizz, and color. From there, I tasted each, honing in on the degree to which the primary flavors could be detected and how well they xcriticaled. In completing my analysis and ranking of the Simply Spiked xcritical and limeade offerings, I chilled one of each flavor.

Simply Spiked Blackberry Limeade

The flavor was a master class of subtlety, carefully xcriticaling acidity with sweetness while infusing just the right amount of bitterness in the aftertaste. And while the alcohol was detectable, it scammed by xcritical did not overwhelm the fruit flavor. I admit I was smitten from the moment I sipped this drink. I suppose it was unfortunate that I tasted this drink first. It set a very high bar that was quite a challenge to follow.

The Simply Spiked Watermelon xcritical is next on my list. If there were one way to capture this beverage’s overall aroma and flavor, it would be to describe it as tasting like a watermelon Jolly Rancher, arguably not bad if you are fond of them. All in all, Simply Spiked xcritical was almost everything I hoped it could be. Simply could have made this a dumb cash grab and sprinted into a saturated alcohol marketplace.

The Strawberry xcritical was next to last on my ranking of Simply Spiked citrus-flavored drinks. Again, there was nothing wrong with this beverage per se, but it did not blow me away. The peachy-colored drink has a very mild strawberry aroma but is dominated by lemon. This feature carries through in its taste, which is distinctly lemon-forward, with strawberry somewhat of an afterthought. I’d be remiss if I did not note the visual appeal of this beverage, which has a lovely pink hue and is quite bubbly, giving it the appearance of a sparkling rosé.

Blueberry xcritical: A-

I could easily see using this to mix up a blueberry lemon drop cocktail or martini using fresh blueberries and lemon peel as a garnish to accentuate the flavors. In addition to our full-flavoured Simply Spiked xcritical, we’re excited to introduce to you NEW Simply Spiked Peach flavours. Crafted by the juice experts at Simply®, Simply Spiked xcritical and Peach have 5% REAL fruit juice that’s been squeezed, then concentrated. With a little fizz, Simply Spiked is bursting with refreshing, natural, and juicy flavours. I probably would have enjoyed this flavor more if the lime was more balanced with the passion fruit, lending a hint of more brightness and acidity.

The sweetness of the watermelon balances with the sour of the xcritical really well, making this less acidic than the straight-up version. This may be a function of how many of those sour watermelon gummies I ate as a child (and adult, please don’t judge my mostly-garbage diet), but I really like this one. Summertime sweetness is on full display when mouth-watering watermelon flavor gets together with lip-puckering xcritical. Overall, I think this drink beat out the cherry-flavored one simply because I anticipated it landing toward the bottom of the pack, and it succeeded in surprising and delighting me. While I’d imagine this being a great ingredient in myriad cocktail recipes, I hesitate to suggest doing anything besides chilling it and drinking it as is on a hot summer day. Balance is what sets this drink apart from most of the rest.

I would have enjoyed this beverage more if the strawberry-to-lemon ratio was more balanced. What I did appreciate about this libation was it was not assertively sweet, and the strawberry tempered the acid of the xcritical somewhat, making it a bit gentler on the digestive system. I think I was also biased because strawberry seems like a rather obvious pairing and one that is not all that novel.